It's a new year...

I have been trying to think of a 'direction' for this bad boy... thus far to no avail. I have decided one thing though; when it comes to creative people there are the ones who really create... and there's the ones that get words like 'poet' tattooed on their forearm and lose all ambition by their early twenties and spend their mundane days at the office Googling 'creativity'... Guess which one I am.

So, out of my wallowing... I was thinking perhaps a fitness/nutrition spin. Not that I have much to offer (I am nothing but a sponge) but perhaps if I record my "progress" it will offer motivation. My current fitness goal as been, in short, to run a mile and a half within 12 minutes. On the treadmills at the Y they have these military fitness tests in which you run and it gives you a score based on your time/gender/age. The airforce one is the easiest... a 1.5 mile run. So far my best time was about 16 minutes and I got a score of 30 out of 50. Doesn't sound like much, I know, but I've only done it three times (three days in a row, actually) and my time went from 20 to 18 to 16... so I feel like I am on track. I never would have imagined I'd be a runner.

I do need to update my tunes though... After my iPod got wiped (thanks, honey) I have had to scramble to get my playlists back. It just hasn't been the same.

Suggestions welcome... in all areas of my life.

She Lives...

Evidently I have fallen off the face of the earth.... or have I? I can't believe I haven't updated in almost a year. Oops. Well, for the three people that read this, I am sure you're aware... I returned to the workforce full-time. I took a position as an Account Manager at UnitedHealth Group and I am about 3 weeks in to training. I am really, really trying to like it. More on that later.

Basically I just wanted to jump in and say "hi, I'm not dead!".

I think I want to change my major (ya know, cause I will be in school until I am 40) to Communications... or something.

That is all for now. Back to work.

About verses and grace...

I love April... namely (okay, actually the only reason, usually) is because it is National Poetry Month! They actually showcase poetry in bookstores, instead of just hiding it on the one shelf in the back corner that seems to be continually shirnking away. One of my favorite lines ever is one of Frank O'Hara's that has stuck with me for years... "it's for ever I write because the struggle may knock the breath out of me". I am pretty sure I could not sum it up any better than that. I love words. I love that you have to do something, not just forever but FOR EVER... for everything, for always, just so you can BE. Great poetry, which is simply words put together can create such absolute beauty. A moment of absolute stillness in a world that never stops and less often reflects. That is exactly what fuels me. Words that stop and knock the breath out of me. It's for everything I write, because I have to be still sometimes; I have to know I can still feel and breathe and struggle.

That all being said, last night I took a stab at a more "faith-based" poem. Like everything I gush out, it was a two-minute endeavor and was basically vomitted upon the page... but that is how I roll.


"Grace"
Not by deservedness
But with fault do those eyes shin down
upon me.
Upon the mess that I rest in,
Yes the comfort of chaos...
Like veins running far and blue
under the pale skin on top of hands.
Flesh and bone
Given and taken
to this point, stretched thin
like begruged mercy.
Weakend by the elements, dry and cracked.
Grace by those eyes, shining down
And I think of the small, small price.
Just
faith.

Alas...

I am still alive, I really am. I think.  I just don't feel things have been terribly interesting.
Ha. Except, that Addie is wearing her Green Day shirt to bed and we just asked her what her favorite Green Day song was... she says "Mighty". "Mighty?"... "Yeah, Mighty's Day Parade." Haha. That would be "Macy's Day Parade" in case you didn't get that one.
So, let's see... last week I sent about 7 poems to the Comstock Review. I have never sent anything out for major publication and I decide to start with Comstock. Am I awesome or what? I am still randomly, aimlessly applying for jobs that I kinda hope I don't get. And um... doing as much reading as I possibly can. That about sums up the last several weeks pretty well. I still feel like I have NO idea what I am doing with my life but hoping and praying for some direction and that God will lead me wherever I am supposed to be. I think it will be nice to have the summer off with the kids. We went to the park today for several hours and had a blast.

Okay, Addie wants to show Karl a website (she's learning to read on it).... I am being kicked off the computer.

Ciao!

FOOD!

I know, I know... I am as competent at updating my blog as I am everything else in life. But today I have two delicioso recipes to share! First, shrimp pasta... Mmmm. No clever name for it, but I got the idea when I saw a similar recipe on Emeril.

(just to forewarn I am not gooding writing down recipes, I tend to not think all that sequentially at times, so sorry in advance, haha)

-Pasta... I used gluten-free spinach spaghetti noodles, which were amazing! But, you can use any kind of angel hair, linguine, long noodles... Cook your pasta while you start everything else... cook al dente and then let sit with some olive oil poured over it.

-Next the shrimp... mine was frozen, so I boiled it a few minutes to thaw until it was pink. I used a bag of peeled, de-veined key west shrimp. After it was pink I put in a skillet with:
-Garlic (or garlic powder)
-Half a chopped tomato
- 1/4 chopped green pepper
- and about 2 tblspn

 of lemon zest
- 2 tblspn of butter
You can add or subtract more or less of any of those... I let everything fry for a few minutes, til the shrimp was coated with all the yummy

- Then add 1 1/2 cups of heavy cream to the skillet with the shrimp and such

- Add in grated pepper jack cheese (I grated almost a whole block)

- Lastly, throw the pasta in (I used an electric skillet cause it's the deepest type I have) and let everything simmer together until the cheese is melted and the pasta is more tender

MMMM.... SO GOOD!!! I served with asparagus topped with feta cheese.  :)


Now for tonight I will be having stuffed green peppers. I will just post what I am stuffing with them, since that is pretty self explanatory...
- Ground turkey
- Brown rice
- Feta cheese
- chicken broth

Mix it all up.... stuff it in the cleaned out peppers and bake for an hour (a recipe I saw said to blanch the peppers first if using green peppers)... and yay... hopefully! I will let you know :)

There... wow, I never thought I would be posting recipes anywhere. Who knew.

I am blogging from Starbucks. I am so f-ing cool. Now that we'rw done with that... it's been awhile. Sorry to  my loyal readers (both of you), but as much as I love December I freakin' hate it. But the birthdays are done (I am now 26... so close to 30!) and Christmas is in 4 days and that is when my head really starts spinning. And I really hate Dec 26-31. There just seems to be no point.
In mommy news, I am pretty sure I am ready to go back to work now. Ahh. I love being with the kids, but I dunno. I don't think I am good at this. Blah. Also, I was all huffy and puffy everyday at work over the fact that I had no time to write and it just made my life so miserable... well, I have been off almost 3 months and I can't even keep up with a blog. Yes, I am failure... and clearly feeling a wee bit sorry for myself this evening.

So, I am attempting to try to phase out gluten from my life. Heh. I am starting slow. Before I got pregnant with Kellan I thought I had celiac's, but my doc blamed everything on IBS and it kind of fell by the wayward as symptoms improved eventually throughout pregnancy. Well, now some of the same issues are coming back (don't worry we won't touch anything gastrointestinal here) with the headaches (ok those never actually go away), hair loss, fatigue, depression... which of course can be a number of things, but I figure it wouldn't hurt to try and see if it helps. Plus, Tina posted a blog at an amazing time and inspired me to actually give it a go. I guess my main motivation is I would like to try something new and feel healthier and quit taking the freakin 6 medications I am supposed to be taking everyday. I feel so toxic. I am not even super hippy dippy or solely an organic advocate, but like I said... gotta give something a go at this point. It will be the hardest to transition the kids and I am not sure that I will because thus far they don't seem to have any intolerance issues (except Kellan and his dairy but that's a whole 'nother blog...ugh) and I really don't want to make things difficult for them with food issues(school, friends, etc) but we shall see. I have to re-learn to cook and everything will be so expensive... BUT I shall prevail... slowly. It's weird to go from my previous 'diet' attempts... in which I quit eating red meat 4 years ago due to the IBS, to now having to make a point to eat a LOT of meat and veggies. It's a total 180, seeing as I am used to buying 100% whole grain and wheat this and that...

Ok, I have escaped for a good two hours now between the gym and the Bux... so I guess I will pack it in and head home... Au Revior lovelies!

And it's beginning to snow...

     So we are finally seeing some real snow here. I guess it is overdue and I know I live in Minnesota... but I still hate snow. Though, I must say I am grateful for living in an apartment during the winter, as shoveling is definitely not my thing (I have done it maybe twice in my life).  I guess it's not so bad to watch it from inside, knowing I don't have to go anywhere. MOMs group is already cancelled for tomorrow, so we shall be spending another lovely day INSIDE. I am somewhat relieved though because I have not been feeling fantastic the last couple days, so to lay low feels good.
    I don't seem to have much on my mind these days... nothing to share, blogwise anyhow. Sorry I am so boring guys. I really need to my act together and get this place organized... we still have a bunch of boxes stuck in the hall closets that we have not unpacked. Not to mention, stuff still at my in-law's place. Bleh. It's just overwhelming.

Well, I am going to take a little rest before Kellan wakes up from his nap. I have almost kicked this cold... I hope.

Peace out.